


bearing burdens

by AslansCompass



Series: as hard as today [6]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Found Family, Gen, Grieving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-24 12:53:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21099773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AslansCompass/pseuds/AslansCompass
Summary: May tries to cope with the new situation.





	bearing burdens

May wished she could cry. It would be so much easier- (simpler)--a relief to cry. She had, the first time. The account of Phil's death had circulated headquarters before Fury let her in on the secret; even after he told her the truth, she couldn't shed the weight any other way.

But not this time . She'd been with him to the very end; a sharp comfort to them both. No excruciating pain; no clinical care. She knew him as well as she knew herself; he told her everything that she already knew.

Standing in front of Mack (_Director_ Mack), officially handing him the keys to Fury's toolbox--she had only one thing to say. 

"Orders, Director?"

(because their work wasn't done, SHIELD was still needed, this part was professional not personal)

"Take some leave." Mack almost met her eyes. "You deserve--that's an order."

* * *

SHIELD had been her job for years. And since the day she'd walked into that cockpit, it had been her life. The team--they were her family. Coulson, Fitz, Simmons, even Ward. And Daisy.

If this loss was tearing her apart, what the fuck was it doing to Daisy? May had known happiness before, had known childhood security, adolescent growth, mature responsibility.

Daisy had no such foundations. 

> You care about me. No one's done that in a really long time.

The look on Phil's face when he'd told May about that conversation--he'd claimed Skye then and there. Not that he'd admit it, but Phil had A Thing about caring for people. Big, obvious caring. 

That had never been May's gift. Respect, yes. Trust, yes. Honesty, yes. Not caring. Not in a way people understood. 

Daisy was hurting--that much was obvious. 

And May had no idea how to help. 

They were too much alike; locking emotions away, hiding damage, soldiering on. It wasn't healthy--Andrew had told May as much, several times--but she didn't know how else to cope. Certainly not well enough to help someone else. 

All she can do is minimize the damage. 


End file.
